tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-43692437755724392662024-03-08T15:07:15.096-05:00Just Me Defying GravityThis blog is an online journal of my random thoughts and musings. Some are meant to be humorous, and some are meant to be serious. It all depends on my mood which changes rapidly....Enjoy!!Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger218125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4369243775572439266.post-63107715055406191622013-10-08T16:25:00.000-04:002013-10-08T16:25:19.826-04:00Gravity...Just Might be Winning Today...I woke up this morning feeling kind of slow. My brain was fuzzy, it felt like my head was sloshing with runny jello. My balance has been off, so I am walking like a zombie so I don't fall...successful so far. I am contemplating getting a cane just to bolster my balance, but I feel too proud to use one.<br />
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Fatigue is threatening to drag me down into the depths of slumber. The sandman is swinging from eyelid to eyelid drawing then closer and closer to being closed, and my body is feeling heavy and useless. My cat is using me as a bed, and has made herself comfortable.<br />
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THIS is the worst part of autoimmune disorders and their treatments. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4369243775572439266.post-38620369374979826732013-09-22T10:41:00.002-04:002013-09-22T10:41:59.389-04:00Sugah....Aww, Honey, Honey.......I know it has been a while since I have written here and a lot has changed. Sadly, Micah the Puppy did not work out, so we are back down to Lily, which is fine by me. I have been really sick. Sjogren's has been kicking my ass full time, and my Rheumatologist has put me on Methotrexate which in higher doses is used to treat cancer. It is helping my pain, but on the flip side it is making my GI symptoms and fatigue worse. One step forward two steps back....<br />
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Soooo, Friday, I went to my Endocrinologist. Yeah, my Blood Sugar was 401. Bad Geri. The thing is, I had not eaten anything since the night before. He gave me Lantus 25units and Novolog 10units in the office and started me on them both at home with the Novolog being on a sliding scale as to what my sugar is. He also started me on another medication called Bydureon, which I inject once a week. My cortisol levels were also very low due to the Pituitary Tumor that I have, so two more medications for me to take for that.<br />
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Yesterday my fasting blood sugar was 357, and this morning it was 137 (GO ME!!!) Keeping it regulated is going to be my biggest challenge yet. I have difficulty eating due to the Sjogren's, and my meals are sporadic and sometimes non-existence, because I have no appetite at all. However, I will keep checking my blood sugar, and eat what I can, when I can, and do the best I can.<br />
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On the Flip Side, I've lost a lot of weight from being a metabolic nightmare, but I wouldn't recommend my weight loss program...Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4369243775572439266.post-12412721901419273402013-07-23T13:29:00.002-04:002013-07-23T13:29:37.385-04:00The Happiest Coincidence!I do not remember if I mentioned it here, but I know I did on my other blog. My husband has finally said that he thinks that getting a dog would be a good idea for the family especially for Zac and me. Hubby is not really an animal person as I have mentioned before, but I think that the unconditional love that comes from a dog will really melt his heart and do him a world of good too. His job is so stressful, especially some things that have come to light lately that I am unable to disclose at this time, plus our living situation with his oldest son and his family moving it. It is all very stressful, even though things are leveling out somewhat.<br />
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With all of that being said, I went onto Facebook and asked my friends if they knew of a reputable rescue in my area, so I could start looking for a puppy. I decided that I wanted to go with a puppy, because of Lily. I did not want her to be threatened by a big dog. My First Grade Teacher, Peggy Purcell, who I have always loved dearly and who made a HUGE impact on my life whether she knows it or not, answered and said that she had a teacher friend that ran a rescue called Mutts & More, Inc. So I thought if Miss Purcell recommends them then they must be top notch, so I went to their Facebook page and asked if she had any puppies. She told me that she just got some in that morning, and she posted a picture. I picked out my Micah right then and there. She invited us to come and meet her anytime, and she gave me her phone number. I told her I would be in touch soon.<br />
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The next day, Kendra, Zac, and I were out running some errands, and I asked them if they wanted to run and see the puppy while we were out, and of course they both screamed "HECK YEAH!" So, I gave Lori a call, and she gave us directions to her home. (In our county the do not allow free standing rescues, so she runs the rescue from her home.) When we got to her home we were greeted by Lori who has one of the greatest smiles I have ever seen and one of the bubbliest personalities I have ever had the pleasure of being in the presence of AND one of the biggest Great Danes! She invited us into her home which was immaculate, and I thought to myself, "she must keep all of the dogs outside."<br />
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At this point she took us to the garage where she was keeping Micah, and her mother Moody and Micah's 5 siblings. The pups were only about a week old at this time, and their eyes and ears were still closed. She let us hold Micah, and I knew I had picked the right puppy for us. She also let Zac hold the other puppies too.<br />
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She had to take her Dane to the vet so our first visit was very short, but she invited me back so we could chat more. She had said that she needed someone to apply for grants for her via the computer and to help her out with fund raising. I told her that I could do that no problem. I told her that all I do all day is sit on the sofa and get on my computer. She got really excited, and she said she would be calling me soon.<br />
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Three days later I get a phone call from Lori and she asks me if I could come over. I told her I sure could. So notebook and pen in hand I drive the few miles to her house. It is all back roads, so I feel very comfortable driving those roads. We sit down at the table, and we start talking about things. We were getting to know each other, and I told her that Miss Purcell had given me her Facebook page, and if Miss Purcell trusted her then I knew she was to be trusted. She said, I thought the same thing, because Miss Purcell had contacted her about me. She asked me how old I was, and I told her that I was 42, and she said she was 48. I asked her what High School she had gone to, and she told me Heritage. I said, "You probably knew my sister Kim." and she said, "Kim who?" and I said, "Kim Vernon." She nearly started jumping up and down, and she said, "Kim and I were best friends in Junior High and High School!!!!" She said, "I remember her little sister, THAT WAS YOU????"<br />
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I said it was. Of course I was too little to remember one of my sister's friends, but what a happy coincidence it was! Lori and I have become friends, and I have been over to her house many times now, and we chat on the phone.<br />
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I know there are no coincidences that everything is carefully orchestrated by God and this time Peggy Purcell. LOL I'm glad it happened. I found the perfect puppy, and the beginnings of a great friendship, something that I really need!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4369243775572439266.post-21475782000167484862013-07-18T06:47:00.001-04:002013-07-18T06:47:10.054-04:00I Should Be in the O"Limp"ics!!!Well, I think I am in another full blown Sjogren's flair. I woke this morning at 0515 with horrible reflux. You know, the kind that wakes you up by coming out of your nose. I know, I do NOT have to be so graphic, buy why should I spare you the details? I am the one living with the boiling hot acid shooting out of my nose and throat as I try to make it to the bathroom in time, and YES it IS that bad and that is with the 3 different medications I am taking. Sounds fun huh? Anyone want to change places with me? I did not think so.<br />
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My eyes and mouth are always dry, but for the last 2-3 days I have awakened with the feeling that the insides of my eyelids are lined with sandpaper. Every time I blink I can almost hear my lids rasping over my poor red eyes. They look like I have been riding in a van with Cheech and Chong for about a month. That would be much more pleasant than what I am truly experiencing. My mouth is just as dry as my eyes, so I have been drinking probably more than a gallon of water a day, but it only helps for a few minutes. I COULDN'T spit on you if you were on fire, so PLEASE be careful with the lighters and matches around me ok?<br />
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Lastly, since Sjogren's attacks moisture making glands it also attacks my joints periodically. It usually prefers my hands and feet for some reason, but this time it has gotten those plus my right hip. It is killing me. Maybe I need to an extra gallon of water for the hip. LOL I am going to floating if I drink anymore water not to mention washing all of my potassium out again and ending up in the hospital again.<br />
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So, I will still defy gravity, but I am doing so with a slight limp. Adds character I think or maybe I just look like a 42yo with a limp. HaHaHa. I'm still not going to let it get me down though. I would be hell in a "Walking in a circle" contest, but for now I am still content with Defying Gravity!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4369243775572439266.post-15950163546694208642013-07-02T08:27:00.002-04:002013-07-02T08:27:38.470-04:00Uphill Climb Literally! Yay Me!I have decided to start taking walks again. I am still wobbly,and because of the risk of falling I cannot walk by myself,. Also, my husband has been banned from running by his doctor, because of several ruptured discs in his back, so he will be walking with me. We are also getting a new puppy in September when she is old enough, and she will need to be walked on a regular basis. So, no excuses for me anymore walking it is.<br />
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The funny thing is about walking out of my drive and hitting the road is I have two choices: uphill or uphill. We decided to walk....drumroll....UPHILL!! We took a left hand turn out of the driveway which is the steepest hill, but it is the closest route to the next road and has the fewest home and the least traffic.<br />
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The walk to the end of our road is at least 90% up hill, and it is not a gentle rolling hill. It is a STEEP hill. I thought I was going to die on the way up, and my husband asked me several times if I needed to stop and turn around. I told him that I was NOT going to let this hill beat me, and that my mind, body, soul, and new puppy(LOL) needed me to start walking. I meant I was going to make that hill!<br />
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I was wobbly, and I was holding my husband's hand. I did not stop! I was telling the hill out loud that it was not going to beat me, and I continued walking until I made it to the top. After I got to the top I yelled "YAY!" and my husband laughed at me, and said, "That is a hell of a hill isn't it?" I said, "Yes it is, but we made it.<br />
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We walked the rest of the way to the end of the road, and then walked home. It was all down hill from there. LOL I suppose the entire walk was a bit over a half a mile. Not much in the grand scheme of things, but for me with my physical limitations, I felt like I had climbed Mt. Everest!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4369243775572439266.post-51032869731163840802013-06-26T11:30:00.002-04:002013-06-26T11:30:40.301-04:00Gravity is Winning Today...I always feel a little fatigue due to the Sjogren's Syndrome, but for the past couple of days it has jumped on my with both feet. It is an effort to even get up and move at all. My joints protest and scream inside of my head for me to stop moving and to go back to sleep, my eyes are so dry that they feel like they are full of sand, and my mouth feels like I have been gargling with kitty litter. Dry, dry, dry!!<br />
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So, today I won't be doing much except letting gravity win a bit. Maybe when hubby gets home we will take a walk outside......then again.......Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4369243775572439266.post-70686151614668779412013-06-09T15:14:00.000-04:002013-06-09T15:14:02.993-04:00Glamour Shots and a Tale from Addison's Acre....While I was in the hospital my husband made his regular grocery run, and a woman was in there peddling photography sessions to be done in the store. My sweet husband, knowing that he and I had never had our picture taken together professionally, gladly paid the ten dollars for the minimum package, and signed us up. So today, we get all dressed up and go to Kroger to have our picture taken. I'm thinking we would have a choice of back drops, props, etc... Boy was I wrong. LOL There was one back drop that was a kind of sun burst and black. Thankfully, our outfits did not clash too badly with it. The photographer looked like a homeless man and smelled like one too. Needless to say, I was on the verge of maniacal laughter the entire time, and so was my husband. At least he and I looked pretty good, but I cannot wait until these pictures come back! According to Ned the Wino that will occur on July the 2nd. It was definitely the most interesting trip I have ever had to ANY grocery store EVER!<br />
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There is never a dull moment on Addison's Acre. My husband and I have been noticing some interesting behavior from a murder of crows that live on our land. They have been congregating around the goldfish pond, and at first we thought they were eating the fish, because they were dipping their heads in the water. However, we noticed that they had something in their beaks that they were dipping in the water, and it was big and white. After they would dip the big white thing they would then put it on the rocks and consume it. We decided to walk out and get a better look at what they were eating. Once we got out there of course they flew away, and what we saw on the rocks was BREAD! They were getting bread from someone else's yard, and they were bringing it back to dip in the fish pond to soften it up to make it easier to eat. Those are some intelligent birds! Nature never ceases to amaze me!!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4369243775572439266.post-34371904718090437502013-06-06T17:43:00.001-04:002013-06-06T17:43:51.837-04:00What's going on at Addison's Acre......I have not written in a while. I have been quite under the weather, and as of yesterday I got out of the hospital after having been in for six days. I was admitted for Syncope due to low potassium and hypothyroidism, but hopefully I am on the mend.<br />
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In other areas Hubby has started the garden. He hasn't gotten everything planted, because of the crazy weather here. We had a late frost, but we do have tomatoes and cucumbers going. The tomatoes already have little tomatoes on them and the plants are huge and healthy. I love seeing and eating food that we grow and harvest ourselves. It is so much more satisfying than buying it, and it just tastes better too. We hope to get some squash and other essentials planted, so we have some nice fresh veggies this Summer to supplement our diets. Our fig trees are big and beautiful, and I expect great things from them as well this year. They certainly did not disappoint last year.<br />
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So, Addison's Acre is being fruitful, and we are Blessed and thanking God for all of our Blessings.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4369243775572439266.post-29527632432449884012013-05-11T13:40:00.000-04:002013-05-11T13:40:36.937-04:00I Have Walked a Mile..........and I have no shoes left. God has won and has shown me who the true Master of the Universe is. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4369243775572439266.post-38568242861663558122013-03-22T08:43:00.005-04:002013-03-22T08:43:58.058-04:00Kicking Small MammalsI have not posted since back in January, and I have decided that groundhogs are very loathesome creatures. We have been teased by wonderful 70 degree weather that has given us "Spring Fever" and has made us want to spend time outside in the yard sprucing it up only to have the rug jerked out from under us.<br />
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Yes, it is after the middle of March, and the forecast tonight is snow. (Insert Confused Face Here) I know it is not the first time this has happened, but this Winter has been nothing but overcast days and rain. I love the rain, but the overcast days are killing my spirit. At least rain has it's purpose. Overcast is just bleh. It makes me want to do nothing at all, because it has no purpose. It is like the Dementor of weather, because it sucks all of the happiness away.<br />
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Speaking of Dementors.....I think I will put on my "Deathly Hallows" pendant and just sit here all day. I have a lot of crocheting I can do. I could carve a Harry Potter scar into my forehead. Nah, that's too extreme...or is it? It would definitely break up the monotony. I think it would be weird though, because right now, my hair is the color of a Weasly's. Maybe that's why I'm in a crochet kind of mood lately. I'm channeling Molly Weasly.....<br />
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Well, that little change in subject made me feel a bit better. Any Harry Potter reference usually does even if it did start with a Dementor. Sorry about blabbing on and on. It's just how my mind operates. Scary huh. I will refrain from carving scars in my forehead, and I will stick to crocheting. (Yes I know Molly is a knitter) but they both involve yarn.<br />
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Have a blessed day.....Even though it is overcast as hell.....EXPECTO PATRONUM!!!!!!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4369243775572439266.post-50330050578454785952013-01-19T06:16:00.001-05:002013-01-19T06:16:22.116-05:00MisunderstoodI don't know why I feel compelled to write about this today. It could be because I am up for the 3rd or 4th morning this week WAY before dawn. Not because I want to, but because a symptom of my "disorder" has awakened me in a most unpleasant manner. I will spare you the details.<br />
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Most of you already know that I have an auto-immune disorder called Sjogren's syndrome. There are many auto-immune disorders Rheumatoid arthritis, Lupus, Scleroderma, etc...to name a few. People with these disorders may look completely normal, but it does not mean that they are not having symptoms.<br />
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No, I may not "look sick," but to those that know me and that are around
me for more than ten minutes know that something is no longer "right" with Geri. I have trouble finding my words or the right word. I have to write down things I'm supposed to remember, because my short term memory is shot. A walk through the house is an adventure. "Will she make it without falling? Let's make a bet folks!" The worst part is <b>I</b> know that I am not right. It would be different if I was swimming in a sea of blissful ignorance, but I am not. I can tell you it is very frustrating.<br />
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My point is not to make you feel sorry for me, because God only knows that is the LAST thing I want. My point is to increase understanding, and just because someone doesn't have something visibly wrong with them doesn't mean that they don't have something that YOU CAN'T SEE!<br />
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This is a hard lesson learned by me. Sometimes you do have to walk a mile in someone else's shoes. Unfortunately, I have been given the shoes to wear on a permanent basis.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4369243775572439266.post-75917012619497149762012-12-19T07:16:00.003-05:002012-12-19T07:16:39.219-05:00Just One Christmas...I woke up early this morning with my husband. Too early in fact, but I have been having trouble sleeping. My doctor says to just get up when that happens, so I did, fixed myself a cup of coffee, sat down, and turned on the old lap top to check facebook. I check my notifications first I think probably most "facebook people" do that, LOL, and then I see a post by my best friend in the world Tamara A. that says, "<span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent">I wish I could spend ONE Christmas with my sister <a data-hovercard="/ajax/hovercard/user.php?id=1404767286&extragetparams=%7B%22group_id%22%3A0%7D" href="http://www.facebook.com/geri.addison?group_id=0">Geri Lynn Addison</a>, just once!" I went there and immediately typed the word "AMEN," but the more I thought about it I went back and typed, "I would be happy for any day of the year at this moment." You see Tamara and I have never met face to face. </span></span><br />
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<span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent">This is how it all got started....Once upon a time, LOL, nah, I will not take you there that way. When I first moved to LaGrange, Ga. I really had no friends. I had work friends, but no other friends, and I got into ebay big time buying things for the house. It was then that I noticed that ebay had a blog. I had NO idea what a blog was back then, and I was, still am, pretty computer illiterate. I clicked on the blog early one morning when I did not have to work, and I found a wonderful group of people chatting about their sales, what they were selling, their families, etc... It was if they really knew each other. I made a profile and jumped in feet first introducing myself. At that time, I had never sold a thing I was just a buyer, and they were primarily sellers.</span></span><br />
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<span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent">About a month into the blogging, I had met a couple of women that I connected with, and we chatted on yahoo messenger about things other than blogging. Family, men, work, and other things. It was then that I get a messenger request from a name I did not recognize, so I asked who it was and she told me. Now, at this point, we had only had limited encounters on the blogs, she was a graphics designer, but I knew right away that we had the same sense of humor (scary I know) and we just clicked on every level. </span></span><br />
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<span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent">People talk about their spouse or the love of their life being their soul mate, but I believe a friend can be that person as well. The amount of things that she and I have in common is scary. I will keep those between us as they are personal, but the biggest obstacle to our friendship is logistics. See, she is in California and I am in Georgia. Though we talk daily either on the computer or telephone we have never seen each other face to face. We've never "done lunch" although we joke about it. I'll call her and say, "I'll be there in 10 min be ready to go to lunch." It has never happened.</span></span><br />
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<span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent">We have been friends since 2006, and I honestly hope 2013 will be our year. One tidbit of info I will give out is that we do share a birthday, so maybe this will be our year to celebrate together. We've been planning it for years, I think it is time that we quit planning and start doing. We do both need stamps on our Passports.....</span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4369243775572439266.post-50833321566146268052012-12-17T12:22:00.001-05:002012-12-17T12:22:08.213-05:00He Restores my Soul....It has been a tough Holiday season for me. Heck, it has been tough for me since I have been out of work since March. I have improved greatly, but I am no where near my old self. I have trouble finding words sometimes...well, most of the time. I have permanent "it's on the tip of my tongue" feeling, but I rarely come up with the word, and when I do it is the wrong one. I have other symptoms, but I wont go into that right now. My doctors say I will not be able to work anymore, and that saddens me greatly. So, needless to say I'm having a tough time on many different levels, emotionally, physically, and financially.<br />
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Finances are a biggie during this time of year. Not just because of the Holidays, but because we have 4 children who have birthdays during this time of year as well. I know the kids understand that our income has been cut in half, but it makes a mother feel horrible to not be able to afford to buy her children birthday presents. Anyway, times have been tough this year.<br />
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I had managed to buy Zac three of the gifts on his Christmas list. He is 10 now so he no longer believes in Santa Claus. They were his top three, so I was so happy I could hold back enough. I know that the real reason for Christmas is Christ, but I challenge any of you dear readers to have an empty tree on Christmas day for your children and see how it would make you feel. Anyway, I am proud of those three gifts, but they hardly put me in the spirit of Christmas. This brings me to Zac.<br />
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Zachery, my youngest, we call him Zac for short. I think he is beautiful inside and out. He is a bundle of energy that would never knowingly hurt anyone's feelings. He has a plethora of questions swimming around in his brain, and there is no telling what will come out of his mouth or when. He is a true joy, miracle, and one of my two greatest gifts. In my holiday doldrums this year I had not put up a tree. Saturday, Zac asked if he could put up the tree. He said he wanted to do it all by himself, so he could surprise the rest of us with how beautiful it would be when he was done. How could I refuse that?<br />
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So, my oldest son (step) Vyren, got the tree and ornaments out of the basements for him, and Zac set to work keeping us all out of the TV room until he was finished. It took him about an hour, and he called us in to look at his masterpiece. He was so proud, and there it was in all it's glory, our Christmas tree. The ornaments were placed carefully, but there is no topper. I remembered it was broken last year. The ornaments that he made in school this year right at eye level. I smiled and told him it was beautiful, because it was. He had worked so hard on it and was so proud. Each night I unplug it before I go to bed, and each morning as soon as he gets up he plugs it in. As I saw its multicolored glow this morning I smiled. My son, like that tree, shines regardless of what is going on around him. He sees the good through the bad. He knows and embodies the true spirit of Christmas. His heart is pure, and even though he knows that the gifts are few he does not care. He says the point is we will be together, and he is right. Out of the mouths of babes....<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4369243775572439266.post-53199054596761793602012-12-16T11:50:00.002-05:002012-12-16T11:50:48.734-05:00Happy Birthday Momma!If you were here in your earthly form I would have called you by now and belted out in my loudest out of tune voice the song "Happy Birthday." As would have my sister Kelly and my sister Kim. Yes dear readers, I have a sister Kim, although she would not mention me as readily. Her husband will not let her have anything to do with me, because I am married to a black man. With that little tidbit being explained I will get back to the subject at hand. I do, as do my sisters have nice singing voices, but who in the hell can sing "Happy Birthday" in tune? You would be 69 years old today, but I know you would not look it. We have good genes in that department, and you especially. You liked your make up and curling iron. You were beautiful inside and out with a smile that would light up any room. I will not make you out to be perfect and angelic, because you were not. None of us are, but you did the best you knew how to do, and I miss you like crazy. I miss you admonishing me for not wearing lipstick, and when I had one, "hiding my cute figure with baggy t-shirts." I miss your blue and white "Saturday shirt" even though I hated it. Most of all I miss your sense of humor, and I miss just talking to you. You have some great grand-kids, but I know you can see them. I love you and miss you. Happy Birthday Momma!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4369243775572439266.post-37099875878004644142012-12-13T04:51:00.001-05:002012-12-13T04:51:34.610-05:00Apparently, I'm Defying Sleep As Well...or it is Defying me. Something like that anyway. It is 0430 in the morning here in the not so sunny south at the moment. I have been up for about an hour having been plagued by a series of nightmares up until that point, and then rousted out of bed by an overly full bladder. I didn't drink more than usual last night, and I did my pre-bed piddle so to speak, so I should have been good to go. Nay, sayeth the Sand Man. No more sleep for you tonight. So after I had wallowed my hair fuzzy, I just got up. So here I sit under a blanket with monkey motif, computer in my lap, and a fat ass cat on my feet. At least one of us is happy, and I can tell you which one it isn't.....ME!<br />
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I am not sure about the resurgence of insomnia. Nothing in our situation has changed. I still cannot work, we still have food to eat, and I still cannot complete a full sentence without forgetting at least one thing I was wanting to say. All things considered we are status quo except Christmas is coming up, but I am not really worried about that. The baby (Zac) will have a good Christmas. The rest of the children are grown and will just have to understand our situation at this time. Having your income cut in half with the same bills is not an easy undertaking, and so far we have been very blessed. I have no complaints in that department. We have not gone hungry, and neither have our children. We have gone without some creature comforts, but we have also learned a very good lesson in the process WE CAN DO WITHOUT IT!<br />
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With all of that being said, I still say nothing has given me a reason not to sleep. I did not take a nap yesterday although I could have, and actually, I was more active than usual having made quite a bit of soap. Not that I was squatting over a boiling cauldron all day. Bwahahaha, get a mental picture of THAT!! Still, these days my activities are pretty limited by my physical abilities and stamina which can be next to nothing some days. Yesterday was a good day Thanking the Creator with all of my Being......Maybe tonight will be better although I feel that a nap will be on the books for today......Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4369243775572439266.post-23863503461567865612012-12-11T11:30:00.000-05:002012-12-11T11:30:06.249-05:00Technicolor Rain Dance....I was thinking of this post yesterday, but my internet has been in and out. So, needless to say, I did not get a chance to write it, so I will write it today.<br />
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The weather here in Georgia has been very strange over the past week. It will get semi-cool at night, but during the day it warms to a sixty degree tepid soup that is neither cool and refreshing or warm and comforting. There has been no sun to speak of just a veil of grey that covers everything like a layer of moss on a fallen oak: soggy, unsightly, and with enough creepiness to make you walk faster through the woods. I had gotten to the point where I was praying for rain, snow, sun, sleet, anything other than what it had been. I was checking the weather report daily. No changes. Yesterday, I was sitting here looking out into the back yard, and I see the last of the painted leaves swirling down from the tree in a beautiful dance. I thought to myself that even the leaves are doing a rain dance, and the wind just kept up it's pace and kept the leaves swirling and falling in an almost hypnotic rhythm. I found my eyes transfixed upon the beauty and color in the otherwise grey landscape. My computer forgotten, the television a muffled background to the scene unfolding, and with a clap of thunder the beautiful leaves ceased to dance, bowed, and gave homage to the downpour of rain that was now falling from the sky! I mentally bowed with them, and thanked the Creator for his blessings and giving us what we need when we need it...Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4369243775572439266.post-19832028217623482452012-12-01T10:28:00.001-05:002012-12-01T10:28:43.739-05:00Crochet I say!!!This is from my Sjogren's Syndrome blog. I thought I would share it. If you don't know what Sjogren's Syndrome is I encourage you to Google the hell out of it. It is a misunderstood auto-immune disorder that attacks moisture producing organs, which is pretty much all organ systems, and I have it. I hope you enjoy the blog post.......<br />
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Yeah, I said it! What are you going to do about it? LOL. Crochet! I'm
going to learn to crochet in spite of the pain in my hands. I think
that if I use my fingers more and in a different way that maybe it will
help to strengthen them and get rid of some of this pain. I want to
improve my mobility as well, and this should do it. Only one problem
with this idea, I don't know how to crochet. LOL, SOOOOOO, I have
enrolled in crochet classes at the craft store <i>Michael's</i> where I
live. I have roped my sister into doing them with me, but she is a great
sport and is always up for a new adventure. Can you call Crocheting an
adventure? I think you can if your fingers do not work very well, and
are in constant pain.<br />
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Today is our first class, and we
can make a "mobile phone cover" or a "skinny scarf." I think I will make
the skinny scarf, because if I can make a skinny scarf I can certainly
make a fat scarf. Maybe I can knock out a couple of Christmas gifts. LOL
Look at me being all optimistic and stuff! I'm just glad that
crocheting does not involve toes. I do not know if I could attempt it
then. Oh, who am I kidding, I would at least give it a try. Wish me
luck!!!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4369243775572439266.post-89430760196498172132012-10-23T01:06:00.002-04:002012-10-23T01:06:50.607-04:00A Random Musing....It is very peaceful as I sit here with my kitties. I am quite sure that if I leaned back in the recliner, I could clear my mind enough to go to sleep. I'm not ready for sleep yet though I am tired enough for it, but unfortunately it consumes enough of my time as it is. Due to my health conditions I have lost enough of my life to sleep since March, but it looks as if I may see a tiny ray of light at the end of the tunnel. The cortisol replacement medication should give me some relief from this ungodly fatigue that has made me the anti-life of the party. LOL I will be getting injections into my sacro-iliac joints to alleviate some of the lower extremity pain. I start those injections on Monday, and I must admit I am a little nervous about it. Maybe I need to be a little more realistic about the relief I will get, but who knows maybe they will work wonders for me. The medication change has worked for the numbness and tingling in my face, hands, and feet. I still get it, but it isn't nearly as bad as it was. So, I'll take any victory no matter how small, because after all, it is still a victory.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4369243775572439266.post-76705583118926716032012-10-19T11:25:00.001-04:002012-10-19T11:25:13.046-04:00Lightbulb Moment........So, I saw an endocrinologist 2 weeks ago for the tumor on my Pituitary gland, and he drew a TON of blood. He is a very nice doctor, about my age, and he took a lot of time talking to me, and my sister Kelly about what has been going on with me over the past few months. Yesterday, I had my follow-up to go over my lab work. He was going over my lab with me, and he asks me the question, "Have you ever had to take a HUGE amount of steroids for anything?" I said, "Yes I have. When I was 17yo I was diagnosed with Discoid Lupus and was given Plaquenil which gave me Steven Johnson's Syndrome which nearly killed me, and I was put in the hospital for about a month. I was put on super high doses of steroids at that time." He then nodded his head and told me that that explained my lab work completely. He then went on to say that those super high doses of steroids had basically destroyed my pituitary gland and it's ability to produce the supplemental hormones that my body needs like cortisol and my thyroid hormones. He told me that I have to take one more test next week to confirm it, but he wrote the replacement medication for me already. Cortisol basically controls your energy level. He says that is one reason that I feel the uncontrollable need to sleep all of the time, and why we cannot get my thyroid levels regulated. It is hard to look at that bottle of medication in the cabinet knowing that it could give me ENERGY, but I have to wait until next week. So wait I will. After all, I've been waiting for 23yrs......Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4369243775572439266.post-30319780086716374642012-10-01T14:39:00.001-04:002012-10-01T14:39:38.562-04:00Rainy Days and Mondays....This rainy day IS a Monday. Wow, what a downer. I am definitely not defying gravity today. I had a doctor's appointment early this morning, so I had to get out in this slop. Thank goodness I had company in the form of my sister Kelly. We were both less than enthusiastic to get out in the nasty weather, but we both had MD appointments. After that we had a couple of small errands to run, but it seemed like all either of us could do was yawn.<br />
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It is dark and gloomy outside, and the rain is getting harder. Zac just got home, and Louis is laying on my feet. I think I'll give in and take a small nap.......Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4369243775572439266.post-70372595155521003622012-09-11T21:11:00.000-04:002012-09-11T21:11:52.571-04:00Autumn is in the Air......or maybe I have just deluded myself into thinking it is. The evenings, nights, and mornings have been wonderfully cool, and the days have only been getting up into the upper 70's. I do not think it will stay that way for long, but I am enjoying it while it is. We had absolutely NO Winter last year, so I hope we have a good one this year. I love the changing of the seasons, and Autumn is my favorite. The colors and the smells are positively intoxicating, and it brings out my inner witch. It makes me more in tune with nature, the earth, and myself.<br />
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So, I'm ready for the leaves to change. I'm ready to fire up the fire pit and roast marshmallows and make s'mores. I'm ready for my jeans, hoodies, wool socks and birkenstocks. I AM READY!!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4369243775572439266.post-61459965195533169942012-09-02T10:55:00.002-04:002012-09-02T10:55:21.903-04:00Sometimes it Takes an EmailI try not to write about RELATIONSHIP issues here on my blog, but this time I decided to. I really thought that it may help someone else, so I decided to break my personal rule and speak out this time.<br />
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So, for several months, years really, off and on, I have felt really neglected at home. I am not alone, but I have been lonely. My husband is in the Army, and is preoccupied with his job. I can understand that somewhat, but I would like for him to show his family a bit of attention when he gets home which he did not. We have had great times, good times, and times when I was ready to end it, because I felt like such a non-person in my own home.Since I have been ill he does things to help me, which makes me know that he loves me. I would try to tell him about my illness, and he would blow me off or ignore me. Just like week he read through a pamphlet about my illness, and I believe it gave him a greater understanding about what I have been going through. I did feel a little triumphant about that.<br />
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So, feeling lonely this past week with everyone gone, never doing anything for myself anymore, and just wanting to do something for myself and to help something else that may feel a little bit like me I adopted an adult cat. I have seen this cat in the cages in Petsmart for MONTHS, and I thought that with Hurricane Isaac coming through the shelters would be inundated with strays. I knew it would make my husband angry, and it really did.<br />
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To make a long story he told me I had to get rid of the cat. I told him I was not, and that I had equal say so in this household. I got the silent treatment for about 18hrs, some door slamming, but eventually we started talking.<br />
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The cat, was totally NOT the issue. It was just the straw that broke the camel's back. Since my husband has trouble with verbal communication, I decided to send him an email. I knew he would read it. He is constantly checking his email, so I wrote down all of my feelings out in an email. I will keep the details to myself, but if emails will save my marriage, spice it up, and bring back the intimacy I will type my fingers off.<br />
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The change in his behavior has been apparent so far. He told me last night that he did not realize that I felt the way I did, and he understood about the cat. He was even joking about him this morning. We had a great talk last night. He told me he loved me, and I could see in his face that he meant it. I will continue to send emails.......<br />
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I'm glad I sent that Email. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4369243775572439266.post-12729486376939169532012-08-21T01:37:00.000-04:002012-08-21T01:37:01.491-04:00Rose Colored Glasses.....Yeah, I just bought some. I am figuring they may improve my view on the world some, because it really needs it right new plus they are really cute. I will give you the link after my rant. ANYHOO, so today was my followup appointment with my Rheumatologist. It was a nightmare. That is just about all I can say. First of all, I had never met this woman. She had always sent her PA in to see me. Then she accuses me of refusing the medications they were offering me. <b>#1-Plaquenil</b>- I am deathly allergic to it. I had it back in 1986 and it gave me Steven Johnson's Syndrome which is an allergic reaction that runs amok. Basically, ALL of my skin blistered up and sloughed off like I had been burned. I was in the hospital for a month, and they fixed me with VERY high doses of steroids. <b>#2-High Dose NSAIDS</b>-I was taking these religiously, and I was having great relief from them, Until the reflux monster decided to light his welding torch in MY stomach and keep it there. Out of a month I was awakened at least 4-5 out of 7 nights with stomach acid boiling up in my nose, throat, and causing me to vomit. So, to the GI MD I go, and what is the first thing he does is take me off all of my NSAIDS, put me on a liquid diet, place me on a different antacid(Protonix), and wait for it, scheduled an EGD for the next week. <b>#3-High Dose Steroids-</b> I'll make this short and sweet for you. Diabetes + Steroids = SICK GERI, sick any diabetic for that matter if they are on them for any amount of time.<br />
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Soo, After that fun introduction, and telling her that I have never refused ANY treatment from her at all, I tried to turn the conversation around, by asking her about some alternative treatments I had read about on THE Sjogren's webside. I had them send me some pamphlets, because it contains the same information as what I had red and the PA had asked if I could get her one. I tried to hand it to the doctor explaining that HER PA had asked for it. She said she did not need it. I told her that one of the alternatives was Methotrexate. She said, "It won't work, and it may kill you, but we can try it."Insert toothy grin here.<br />
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At this point my sister interjected and said,"So, we really have no need to come back to you at all, since you aren't interested in learning any new treatments." The doctor at this time said, no, "If you need pain medication I can refer you to a pain clinic. I said, "Ma'am, I did not come in here asking for pain meds." My sister Kelly asks the doctor if she is done, and she said she was so we got up and left.<br />
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I don't think I have ever been so humiliated and debased. At one point during this whole nightmare, I spoke up and said, "Ma'am" I've been working in the medical field since I was 18 years old, and I have been working in some level of critical care nurse since 1994. Kelly looked at the doctor and asked, "Do you need anything more from us? The Doctor said no..So we were out of there as quick as a shot.....I was under the MIS understanding that she was going to help me. Boy was I wrong.....<br />
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So, hopefully, in a few days I'll have a cute pair of rose colored glasses to look through next time if I run into another total assholeUnknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4369243775572439266.post-48008862506154005362012-08-13T15:46:00.001-04:002012-08-13T15:46:24.889-04:00Ring Around the Rosies a Pocket Full of Posies.....I feel like my emotions are playing this horrible game that was was based on the black plague in England. I feel WONDERFUL and sad at the same time, because Kendra has started college. I miss her like nothing I can put into words. Her name sticks in my throat, and it will only come out in a gush of tears of pride and sadness.<br />
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My best friend in the world has stage IV Breast cancer, and she got some bad news. She is across the country and there is not a damn thing I can do for her except listen to her when she needs me. There is nothing more than I would like to do than just fly over there and just have the opportunity just to chill out with her. Laugh like we do on the phone and talk each others' ears off. Just be "normal" for a few days.<br />
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Then there is me. Sjogren's central. I go from doctor to doctor, and they all want to help. They are left wringing their hands a bit. I wrote to the Sjogren's Syndrome Foundation, and they sent me a big pack of pamphlets which I intend to hand out to all of my doctors. I gave my first one out today to my primary doctor, and she was very appreciative, because she readily admits that the disease is pretty foreign to her. I hope the other MD's are just as receptive. I feel like a rung out wash rag 95% of the time that has extremely painful bones, dry eyes, and a mouth like the Sahara Desert. I want HELP! I want REMISSION! I want to be able to walk in my yard without someone holding me up. I want to be able to take a fucking shower without needing to fucking hold on to something and wanting to take a nap after I am through! Is that too much to ask?<br />
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ashes to ashes we all fall down......Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4369243775572439266.post-38227826026969549392012-07-26T10:33:00.003-04:002012-07-26T10:33:32.965-04:00It's Been A WhileI know I haven't written in a while, but I have been busy with doctors appointments, school, and sleeping. I know sleeping isn't considered an activity. It is more of an inactivity, but it is a necessary evil sometimes. Fatigue is a part of this demon I am fighting, and actually it is one of the worst parts. The other worst part is the brain fogginess and memory loss. All of the other symptoms they have a treatment for, but the ones I find the most bothersome and frustrating I have to just deal with.<br />
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So yesterday I visited the eye doctor to have my yearly exam. I felt like I would need bifocals, but I was not expecting the results that I actually got. My vision has deteriorated to the point that WITH my glasses my left eye was 20/80 and my right eye was 20/100. I also have little to no peripheral vision, and of course I need bifocals. So, the doctor said that she wants to get an official referral from my primary doctor to conduct additional testing. So, I go to the eye doctor tomorrow to have that done, and depending on the results I may have to visit my neurologist ASAP instead of my appointment which is the first week in August.<br />
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So, Zac starts school on Monday, and we have Kendra's orientation at UGA the 1st and 2nd of August. She moves into her dorm the 8th of August, and she starts classes on the 13th of August. GO DAWGS!<br />
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GO ME!!</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2