Once again I am horribly tardy with my entry. To be honest, I haven't really felt like writing mentally or physically. I think more mentally than physically though. I dunno, most of the time I feel like I hold it between the lines pretty good, but sometimes I run off the side of the road and when I try to regain control I jerk the wheel too hard and end up fishtailing out of control.
Like most everyone else I like to be in control. So much lately has been out of my control, and there is nothing in the world that feels worse than that. So, I'm trying to find ways to regain control, and I'm not doing too well with that. There are so many outside forces that are out of my control, and trying to stay in the boat in 40 ft seas is almost more than I can take.
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Hi!
ReplyDeleteI've missed you, and think about you often! Sorry you have had such a ride lately, yes, the outside forces can be make things pretty rough, sometimes. All you can do is hang on tight, and ride out the waves and eventually you will find the calm. Control what you can, and try to worry less about the things you can't. I know - easier said.....
XXX
Geri,
ReplyDeleteI read this post yesterday afternoon and started to comment then. My comment sounded like a little old lady, assuring you that all would fall into place .... blah, blah, blah. The truth of the matter is that I completely understand where you are coming from. I also know that not being in control of those things that are really important to you, can make you feel completely helpless.
What I also see in you is a consistent drive to make certain YOU don't let others down, that YOU are responsible and can be counted on. That, I suppose, is about the only thing really within our own control. And sometimes even that feels out of our control, when our mind is willing, but our flesh is weak (read as, illness, accident, etc.)
Just know that you have a lot of people who want you to be happy. And we enjoy reading about the things in your life that make you happy (or crazy, as the case may be!)
Hang in there Geri. I'm not going to say it will all work out, but I do know you are doing better than you think you are. I know this because I read your facebook entries and I read your blog. I may not comment, but I'm here lurking and I am proud of how well you are hanging in there with what you are going through...physically and emotionally and doing it pretty much alone.
ReplyDeleteKat...lost at sea without a rudder but also hanging in there.
Thanks for reading my inane ramblings ladies and giving me unconditional support.
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