You don't know how many posts I have started and have not finished. I have become quite robotic in my day to day life. Work days are the same. I get up. Work. Come home. Take a bath. Talk to the kids about their days. Pray for it to get dark enough and late enough for me to go to bed, and when it does I do so. Off days have their own routine as well. Get the kids up for school from my bed. Go back to sleep. Wake up. Make coffee. Do what chores need doing. Wait for the kids to get home. Spend time with them, ask about their day, help with homework, go over the previous week's schoolwork. Take a bath. Pray for it to get dark enough and late enough for me to go to bed, and when it does I do so. I'm having good days and bad days. Today is a bad day. A really bad day for some reason, and I feel so guilty for feeling like I do. There are so many people that have it so much worse than I do, and I don't have the RIGHT to feel like I do.
With that being said, I WILL get over this hump. I will quit crying. I will quit bathing in self pity, self loathing, etc.... I WILL put on my big girl panties and get over it!