I try not to write about RELATIONSHIP issues here on my blog, but this time I decided to. I really thought that it may help someone else, so I decided to break my personal rule and speak out this time.
So, for several months, years really, off and on, I have felt really neglected at home. I am not alone, but I have been lonely. My husband is in the Army, and is preoccupied with his job. I can understand that somewhat, but I would like for him to show his family a bit of attention when he gets home which he did not. We have had great times, good times, and times when I was ready to end it, because I felt like such a non-person in my own home.Since I have been ill he does things to help me, which makes me know that he loves me. I would try to tell him about my illness, and he would blow me off or ignore me. Just like week he read through a pamphlet about my illness, and I believe it gave him a greater understanding about what I have been going through. I did feel a little triumphant about that.
So, feeling lonely this past week with everyone gone, never doing anything for myself anymore, and just wanting to do something for myself and to help something else that may feel a little bit like me I adopted an adult cat. I have seen this cat in the cages in Petsmart for MONTHS, and I thought that with Hurricane Isaac coming through the shelters would be inundated with strays. I knew it would make my husband angry, and it really did.
To make a long story he told me I had to get rid of the cat. I told him I was not, and that I had equal say so in this household. I got the silent treatment for about 18hrs, some door slamming, but eventually we started talking.
The cat, was totally NOT the issue. It was just the straw that broke the camel's back. Since my husband has trouble with verbal communication, I decided to send him an email. I knew he would read it. He is constantly checking his email, so I wrote down all of my feelings out in an email. I will keep the details to myself, but if emails will save my marriage, spice it up, and bring back the intimacy I will type my fingers off.
The change in his behavior has been apparent so far. He told me last night that he did not realize that I felt the way I did, and he understood about the cat. He was even joking about him this morning. We had a great talk last night. He told me he loved me, and I could see in his face that he meant it. I will continue to send emails.......
I'm glad I sent that Email.