Just One Christmas...

I woke up early this morning with my husband. Too early in fact, but I have been having trouble sleeping. My doctor says to just get up when that happens, so I did, fixed myself a cup of coffee, sat down, and turned on the old lap top to check facebook. I check my notifications first I think probably most "facebook people" do that, LOL, and then I see a post by my best friend in the world Tamara A. that says, "I wish I could spend ONE Christmas with my sister Geri Lynn Addison, just once!" I went there and immediately typed the word "AMEN," but the more I thought about it I went back and typed, "I would be happy for any day of the year at this moment." You see Tamara and I have never met face to face. 

This is how it all got started....Once upon a time, LOL, nah, I will not take you there that way. When I first moved to LaGrange, Ga. I really had no friends. I had work friends, but no other friends, and I got into ebay big time buying things for the house. It was then that I noticed that ebay had a blog. I had NO idea what a blog was back then, and I was, still am, pretty computer illiterate. I clicked on the blog early one morning when I did not have to work, and I found a wonderful group of people chatting about their sales, what they were selling, their families, etc... It was if they really knew each other. I made a profile and jumped in feet first introducing myself. At that time, I had never sold a thing I was just a buyer, and they were primarily sellers.

About a month into the blogging, I had met a couple of women that I connected with, and we chatted on yahoo messenger about things other than blogging. Family, men, work, and other things. It was then that I get a messenger request from a name I did not recognize, so I asked who it was and she told me. Now, at this point, we had only had limited encounters on the blogs, she was a graphics designer, but I knew right away that we had the same sense of humor (scary I know) and we just clicked on every level. 

People talk about their spouse or the love of their life being their soul mate, but I believe a friend can be that person as well. The amount of things that she and I have in common is scary. I will keep those between us as they are personal, but the biggest obstacle to our friendship is logistics. See, she is in California and I am in Georgia. Though we talk daily either on the computer or telephone we have never seen each other face to face. We've never "done lunch" although we joke about it. I'll call her and say, "I'll be there in 10 min be ready to go to lunch." It has never happened.

We have been friends since 2006, and I honestly hope 2013 will be our year. One tidbit of info I will give out is that we do share a birthday, so maybe this will be our year to celebrate together. We've been planning it for years, I think it is time that we quit planning and start doing. We do both need stamps on our Passports.....

He Restores my Soul....

It has been a tough Holiday season for me. Heck, it has been tough for me since I have been out of work since March. I have improved greatly, but I am no where near my old self. I have trouble finding words sometimes...well, most of the time. I have permanent "it's on the tip of my tongue" feeling, but I rarely come up with the word, and when I do it is the wrong one. I have other symptoms, but I wont go into that right now. My doctors say I will not be able to work anymore, and that saddens me greatly. So, needless to say I'm having a tough time on many different levels, emotionally, physically, and financially.

Finances are a biggie during this time of year. Not just because of the Holidays, but because we have 4 children who have birthdays during this time of year as well. I know the kids understand that our income has been cut in half, but it makes a mother feel horrible to not be able to afford to buy her children birthday presents. Anyway, times have been tough this year.

I had managed to buy Zac three of the gifts on his Christmas list. He is 10 now so he no longer believes in Santa Claus. They were his top three, so I was so happy I could hold back enough. I know that the real reason for Christmas is Christ, but I challenge any of you dear readers to have an empty tree on Christmas day for your children and see how it would make you feel. Anyway, I am proud of those three gifts, but they hardly put me in the spirit of Christmas. This brings me to Zac.

Zachery, my youngest, we call him Zac for short. I think he is beautiful inside and out. He is a bundle of energy that would never knowingly hurt anyone's feelings. He has a plethora of questions swimming around in his brain, and there is no telling what will come out of his mouth or when. He is a true joy, miracle, and one of my two greatest gifts. In my holiday doldrums this year I had not put up a tree. Saturday, Zac asked if he could put up the tree. He said he wanted to do it all by himself, so he could surprise the rest of us with how beautiful it would be when he was done. How could I refuse that?

So, my oldest son (step) Vyren, got the tree and ornaments out of the basements for him, and Zac set to work keeping us all out of the TV room until he was finished. It took him about an hour, and he called us in to look at his masterpiece. He was so proud, and there it was in all it's glory, our Christmas tree. The ornaments were placed carefully, but there is no topper. I remembered it was broken last year. The ornaments that he made in school this year right at eye level. I smiled and told him it was beautiful, because it was. He had worked so hard on it and was so proud. Each night I unplug it before I go to bed, and each morning as soon as he gets up he plugs it in. As I saw its multicolored glow this morning I smiled. My son, like that tree, shines regardless of what is going on around him. He sees the good through the bad. He knows and embodies the true spirit of Christmas. His heart is pure, and even though he knows that the gifts are few he does not care. He says the point is we will be together, and he is right. Out of the mouths of babes....

Happy Birthday Momma!

If you were here in your earthly form I would have called you by now and belted out in my loudest out of tune voice the song "Happy Birthday." As would have my sister Kelly and my sister Kim. Yes dear readers, I have a sister Kim, although she would not mention me as readily. Her husband will not let her have anything to do with me, because I am married to a black man. With that little tidbit being explained I will get back to the subject at hand. I do, as do my sisters have nice singing voices, but who in the hell can sing "Happy Birthday" in tune? You would be 69 years old today, but I know you would not look it. We have good genes in that department, and you especially. You liked your make up and curling iron. You were beautiful inside and out with a smile that would light up any room. I will not make you out to be perfect and angelic, because you were not. None of us are, but you did the best you knew how to do, and I miss you like crazy. I miss you admonishing me for not wearing lipstick, and when I had one, "hiding my cute figure with baggy t-shirts." I miss your blue and white "Saturday shirt" even though I hated it. Most of all I miss your sense of humor, and I miss just talking to you. You have some great grand-kids, but I know you can see them. I love you and miss you. Happy Birthday Momma!

Apparently, I'm Defying Sleep As Well...

or it is Defying me. Something like that anyway. It is 0430 in the morning here in the not so sunny south at the moment. I have been up for about an hour having been plagued by a series of nightmares up until that point, and then rousted out of bed by an overly full bladder. I didn't drink more than usual last night, and I did my pre-bed piddle so to speak, so I should have been good to go. Nay, sayeth the Sand Man. No more sleep for you tonight. So after I had wallowed my hair fuzzy, I just got up. So here I sit under a blanket with monkey motif, computer in my lap, and a fat ass cat on my feet. At least one of us is happy, and I can tell you which one it isn't.....ME!

I am not sure about the resurgence of insomnia. Nothing in our situation has changed. I still cannot work, we still have food to eat, and I still cannot complete a full sentence without forgetting at least one thing I was wanting to say. All things considered we are status quo except Christmas is coming up, but I am not really worried about that. The baby (Zac) will have a good Christmas. The rest of the children are grown and will just have to understand our situation at this time. Having your income cut in half with the same bills is not an easy undertaking, and so far we have been very blessed. I have no complaints in that department. We have not gone hungry, and neither have our children. We have gone without some creature comforts, but we have also learned a very good lesson in the process WE CAN DO WITHOUT IT!

With all of that being said, I still say nothing has given me a reason not to sleep. I did not take a nap yesterday although I could have, and actually, I was more active than usual having made quite a bit of soap. Not that I was squatting over a boiling cauldron all day. Bwahahaha, get a mental picture of THAT!! Still, these days my activities are pretty limited by my physical abilities and stamina which can be next to nothing some days. Yesterday was a good day Thanking the Creator with all of my Being......Maybe tonight will be better although I feel that a nap will be on the books for today......

Technicolor Rain Dance....

I was thinking of this post yesterday, but my internet has been in and out. So, needless to say, I did not get a chance to write it, so I will write it today.

The weather here in Georgia has been very strange over the past week. It will get semi-cool at night, but during the day it warms to a sixty degree tepid soup that is neither cool and refreshing or warm and comforting. There has been no sun to speak of just a veil of grey that covers everything like a layer of moss on a fallen oak: soggy, unsightly, and with enough creepiness to make you walk faster through the woods. I had gotten to the point where I was praying for rain, snow, sun, sleet, anything other than what it had been. I was checking the weather report daily. No changes. Yesterday, I was sitting here looking out into the back yard, and I see the last of the painted leaves swirling down from the tree in a beautiful dance. I thought to myself that even the leaves are doing a rain dance, and the wind just kept up it's pace and kept the leaves swirling and falling in an almost hypnotic rhythm. I found my eyes transfixed upon the beauty and color in the otherwise grey landscape. My computer forgotten, the television a muffled background to the scene unfolding, and with a clap of thunder the beautiful leaves ceased to dance, bowed, and gave homage to the downpour of rain that was now falling from the sky! I mentally bowed with them, and thanked the Creator for his blessings and giving us what we need when we need it...

Crochet I say!!!

This is from my Sjogren's Syndrome blog. I thought I would share it. If you don't know what Sjogren's Syndrome is I encourage you to Google the hell out of it. It is a misunderstood auto-immune disorder that attacks moisture producing organs, which is pretty much all organ systems, and I have it. I hope you enjoy the blog post.......

Yeah, I said it! What are you going to do about it? LOL. Crochet! I'm going to learn to crochet in spite of the pain in my hands. I think that if I use my fingers more and in a different way that maybe it will help to strengthen them and get rid of some of this pain. I want to improve my mobility as well, and this should do it. Only one problem with this idea, I don't know how to crochet. LOL, SOOOOOO, I have enrolled in crochet classes at the craft store Michael's where I live. I have roped my sister into doing them with me, but she is a great sport and is always up for a new adventure. Can you call Crocheting an adventure? I think you can if your fingers do not work very well, and are in constant pain.

Today is our first class, and we can make a "mobile phone cover" or a "skinny scarf." I think I will make the skinny scarf, because if I can make a skinny scarf I can certainly make a fat scarf. Maybe I can knock out a couple of Christmas gifts. LOL Look at me being all optimistic and stuff! I'm just glad that crocheting does not involve toes. I do not know if I could attempt it then. Oh, who am I kidding, I would at least give it a try. Wish me luck!!!