Gravity...Just Might be Winning Today...

I woke up this morning feeling kind of slow. My brain was fuzzy, it felt like my head was sloshing with runny jello. My balance has been off, so I am walking like a zombie so I don't fall...successful so far. I am contemplating getting a cane just to bolster my balance, but I feel too proud to use one.

Fatigue is threatening to drag me down into the depths of slumber. The sandman is swinging from eyelid to eyelid drawing then closer and closer to being closed, and my body is feeling heavy and useless. My cat is using me as a bed, and has made herself comfortable.

THIS is the worst part of autoimmune disorders and their treatments.

Sugah....Aww, Honey, Honey.......

I know it has been a while since I have written here and a lot has changed. Sadly, Micah the Puppy did not work out, so we are back down to Lily, which is fine by me. I have been really sick. Sjogren's has been kicking my ass full time, and my Rheumatologist has put me on Methotrexate which in higher doses is used to treat cancer. It is helping my pain, but on the flip side it is making my GI symptoms and fatigue worse. One step forward two steps back....

Soooo, Friday, I went to my Endocrinologist. Yeah, my Blood Sugar was 401. Bad Geri. The thing is, I had not eaten anything since the night before. He gave me Lantus 25units and Novolog 10units in the office and started me on them both at home with the Novolog being on a sliding scale as to what my sugar is. He also started me on another medication called Bydureon, which I inject once a week. My cortisol levels were also very low due to the Pituitary Tumor that I have, so two more medications for me to take for that.

Yesterday my fasting blood sugar was 357, and this morning it was 137 (GO ME!!!) Keeping it regulated is going to be my biggest challenge yet. I have difficulty eating due to the Sjogren's, and my meals are sporadic and sometimes non-existence, because I have no appetite at all. However, I will keep checking my blood sugar, and eat what I can, when I can, and do the best I can.

On the Flip Side, I've lost a lot of weight from being a metabolic nightmare, but I wouldn't recommend my weight loss program...

The Happiest Coincidence!

I do not remember if I mentioned it here, but I know I did on my other blog. My husband has finally said that he thinks that getting a dog would be a good idea for the family especially for Zac and me. Hubby is not really an animal person as I have mentioned before, but I think that the unconditional love that comes from a dog will really melt his heart and do him a world of good too. His job is so stressful, especially some things that have come to light lately that I am unable to  disclose at this time, plus our living situation with his oldest son and his family moving it. It is all very stressful, even though things are leveling out somewhat.

With all of that being said, I went onto Facebook and asked my friends if they knew of a reputable rescue in my area, so I could start looking for a puppy. I decided that I wanted to go with a puppy, because of Lily. I did not want her to be threatened by a big dog. My First Grade Teacher, Peggy Purcell, who I have always loved dearly and who made a HUGE impact on my life whether she knows it or not, answered and said that she had a teacher friend that ran a rescue called Mutts & More, Inc. So I thought if Miss Purcell recommends them then they must be top notch, so I went to their Facebook page and asked if she had any puppies. She told me that she just got some in that morning, and she posted a picture. I picked out my Micah right then and there. She invited us to come and meet her anytime, and she gave me her phone number. I told her I would be in touch soon.

The next day, Kendra, Zac, and I were out running some errands, and I asked them if they wanted to run and see the puppy while we were out, and of course they both screamed "HECK YEAH!" So, I gave Lori a call, and she gave us directions to her home. (In our county the do not allow free standing rescues, so she runs the rescue from her home.) When we got to her home we were greeted by Lori who has one of the greatest smiles I have ever seen and one of the bubbliest personalities I have ever had the pleasure of being in the presence of AND one of the biggest Great Danes! She invited us into her home which was immaculate, and I thought to myself, "she must keep all of the dogs outside."

At this point she took us to the garage where she was keeping Micah, and her mother Moody and Micah's 5 siblings. The pups were only about a week old at this time, and their eyes and ears were still closed. She let us hold Micah, and I knew I had picked the right puppy for us. She also let Zac hold the other puppies too.

She had to take her Dane to the vet so our first visit was very short, but she invited me back so we could chat more. She had said that she needed someone to apply for grants for her via the computer and to help her out with fund raising. I told her that I could do that no problem. I told her that all I do all day is sit on the sofa and get on my computer. She got really excited, and she said she would be calling me soon.

Three days later I get a phone call from Lori and she asks me if I could come over. I told her I sure could. So notebook and pen in hand I drive the few miles to her house. It is all back roads, so I feel very comfortable driving those roads. We sit down at the table, and we start talking about things. We were getting to know each other, and I told her that Miss Purcell had given me her Facebook page, and if Miss Purcell trusted her then I knew she was to be trusted. She said, I thought the same thing, because Miss Purcell had contacted her about me. She asked me how old I was, and I told her that I was 42, and she said she was 48. I asked her what High School she had gone to, and she told me Heritage. I said, "You probably knew my sister Kim." and she said, "Kim who?" and I said, "Kim Vernon." She nearly started jumping up and down, and she said, "Kim and I were best friends in Junior High and High School!!!!" She said, "I remember her little sister, THAT WAS YOU????"

I said it was. Of course I was too little to remember one of my sister's friends, but what a happy coincidence it was! Lori and I have become friends, and I have been over to her house many times now, and we chat on the phone.

I know there are no coincidences that everything is carefully orchestrated by God and this time Peggy Purcell. LOL I'm glad it happened. I found the perfect puppy, and the beginnings of a great friendship, something that I really need!

I Should Be in the O"Limp"ics!!!

Well, I think I am in another full blown Sjogren's flair. I woke this morning at 0515 with horrible reflux. You know, the kind that wakes you up by coming out of your nose. I know, I do NOT have to be so graphic, buy why should I spare you the details? I am the one living with the boiling hot acid shooting out of my nose and throat as I try to make it to the bathroom in time, and YES it IS that bad and that is with the 3 different medications I am taking. Sounds fun huh? Anyone want to change places with me? I did not think so.

My eyes and mouth are always dry, but for the last 2-3 days I have awakened with the feeling that the insides of my eyelids are lined with sandpaper. Every time I blink I can almost hear my lids rasping over my poor red eyes. They look like I have been riding in a van with Cheech and Chong for about a month. That would be much more pleasant than what I am truly experiencing. My mouth is just as dry as my eyes, so I have been drinking probably more than a gallon of water a day, but it only helps for a few minutes. I COULDN'T spit on you if you were on fire, so PLEASE be careful with the lighters and matches around me ok?

Lastly, since Sjogren's attacks moisture making glands it also attacks my joints periodically. It usually prefers my hands and feet for some reason, but this time it has gotten those plus my right hip. It is killing me. Maybe I need to an extra gallon of water for the hip. LOL I am going to floating if I drink anymore water not to mention washing all of my potassium out again and ending up in the hospital again.

So, I will still defy gravity, but I am doing so with a slight limp. Adds character I think or maybe I just look like a 42yo with a limp. HaHaHa. I'm still not going to let it get me down though. I would be hell in a "Walking in a circle" contest, but for now I am still content with Defying Gravity!

Uphill Climb Literally! Yay Me!

I have decided to start taking walks again. I am still wobbly,and because of the risk of falling  I cannot walk by myself,. Also, my husband has been banned from running by his doctor, because of several ruptured discs in his back, so he will be walking with me. We are also getting a new puppy in  September when she is old enough, and she will need to be walked on a regular basis. So, no excuses for me anymore walking it is.

The funny thing is about walking out of my drive and hitting the road is I have two choices: uphill or uphill. We decided to walk....drumroll....UPHILL!! We took a left hand turn out of the driveway which is the steepest hill, but it is the closest route to the next road and has the fewest home and the least traffic.

The walk to the end of our road is at least 90% up hill, and it is not a gentle rolling hill. It is a STEEP hill. I thought I was going to die on the way up, and my husband asked me several times if I needed to stop and turn around. I told him that I was NOT going to let this hill beat me, and that my mind, body, soul, and new puppy(LOL) needed me to start walking. I meant I was going to make that hill!

I was wobbly, and I was holding my husband's hand. I did not stop! I was telling the hill out loud that it was not going to beat me, and I continued walking until I made it to the top. After I got to the top I yelled "YAY!" and my husband laughed at me, and said, "That is a hell of a hill isn't it?" I said, "Yes it is, but we made it.

We walked the rest of the way to the end of the road, and then walked home. It was all down hill from there. LOL I suppose the entire walk was a bit over a half a mile. Not much in the grand scheme of things, but for me with my physical limitations, I felt like I had climbed Mt. Everest!

Gravity is Winning Today...

I always feel a little fatigue due to the Sjogren's Syndrome, but for the past couple of days it has jumped on my with both feet. It is an effort to even get up and move at all. My joints protest and scream inside of my head for me to stop moving and to go back to sleep, my eyes are so dry that they feel like they are full of sand, and my mouth feels like I have been gargling with kitty litter. Dry, dry, dry!!

So, today I won't be doing much except letting gravity win a bit. Maybe when hubby gets home we will take a walk outside......then again.......

Glamour Shots and a Tale from Addison's Acre....

While I was in the hospital my husband made his regular grocery run, and a woman was in there peddling photography sessions to be done in the store. My sweet husband, knowing that he and I had never had our picture taken together professionally, gladly paid the ten dollars for the minimum package, and signed us up. So today, we get all dressed up and go to Kroger to have our picture taken. I'm thinking we would have a choice of back drops, props, etc... Boy was I wrong. LOL There was one back drop that was a kind of sun burst and black. Thankfully, our outfits did not clash too badly with it. The photographer looked like a homeless man and smelled like one too. Needless to say, I was on the verge of maniacal laughter the entire time, and so was my husband. At least he and I looked pretty good, but I cannot wait until these pictures come back! According to Ned the Wino that will occur on July the 2nd. It was definitely the most interesting trip I have ever had to ANY grocery store EVER!

There is never a dull moment on Addison's Acre. My husband and I have been noticing some interesting behavior from a murder of crows that live on our land. They have been congregating around the goldfish pond, and at first we thought they were eating the fish, because they were dipping their heads in the water. However, we noticed that they had something in their beaks that they were dipping in the water, and it was big and white. After they would dip the big white thing they would then put it on the rocks and consume it. We decided to walk out and get a better look at what they were eating. Once we got out there of course they flew away, and what we saw on the rocks was BREAD! They were getting bread from someone else's yard, and they were bringing it back to dip in the fish pond to soften it up to make it easier to eat. Those are some intelligent birds! Nature never ceases to amaze me!!

What's going on at Addison's Acre......

I have not written in a while. I have been quite under the weather, and as of yesterday I got out of the hospital after having been in for six days. I was admitted for Syncope due to low potassium and hypothyroidism, but hopefully I am on the mend.

In other areas Hubby has started the garden. He hasn't gotten everything planted, because of the crazy weather here. We had a late frost, but we do have tomatoes and cucumbers going. The tomatoes already have little tomatoes on them and the plants are huge and healthy. I love seeing and eating food that we grow and harvest ourselves. It is so much more satisfying than buying it, and it just tastes better too. We hope to get some squash and other essentials planted, so we have some nice fresh veggies this Summer to supplement our diets. Our fig trees are big and beautiful, and I expect great things from them as well this year. They certainly did not disappoint last year.

So, Addison's Acre is being fruitful, and we are Blessed and thanking God for all of our Blessings.

I Have Walked a Mile.....

.....and I have no shoes left. God has won and has shown me who the true Master of the Universe is.

Kicking Small Mammals

I have not posted since back in January, and I have decided that groundhogs are very loathesome creatures. We have been teased by wonderful 70 degree weather that has given us "Spring Fever" and has made us want to spend time outside in the yard sprucing it up only to have the rug jerked out from under us.

Yes, it is after the middle of March, and the forecast tonight is snow. (Insert Confused Face Here) I know it is not the first time this has happened, but this Winter has been nothing but overcast days and rain. I love the rain, but the overcast days are killing my spirit. At least rain has it's purpose. Overcast is just bleh. It makes me want to do nothing at all, because it has no purpose. It is like the Dementor of weather, because it sucks all of the happiness away.

Speaking of Dementors.....I think I will put on my "Deathly Hallows" pendant and just sit here all day. I have a lot of crocheting I can do. I could carve a Harry Potter scar into my forehead. Nah, that's too extreme...or is it? It would definitely break up the monotony. I think it would be weird though, because right now, my hair is the color of a Weasly's. Maybe that's why I'm in a crochet kind of mood lately. I'm channeling Molly Weasly.....

Well, that little change in subject made me feel a bit better. Any Harry Potter reference usually does even if it did start with a Dementor. Sorry about blabbing on and on. It's just how my mind operates. Scary huh. I will refrain from carving scars in my forehead, and I will stick to crocheting. (Yes I know Molly is a knitter) but they both involve yarn.

Have a blessed day.....Even though it is overcast as hell.....EXPECTO PATRONUM!!!!!!

Misunderstood

I don't know why I feel compelled to write about this today. It could be because I am up for the 3rd or 4th morning this week WAY before dawn. Not because I want to, but because a symptom of my "disorder" has awakened me in a most unpleasant manner. I will spare you the details.

Most of you already know that I have an auto-immune disorder called Sjogren's syndrome. There are many auto-immune disorders Rheumatoid arthritis, Lupus, Scleroderma, etc...to name a few. People with these disorders may look completely normal, but it does not mean that they are not having symptoms.

No, I may not "look sick," but to those that know me and that are around me for more than ten minutes know that something is no longer "right" with Geri. I have trouble finding my words or the right word. I have to write down things I'm supposed to remember, because my short term memory is shot. A walk through the house is an adventure. "Will she make it without falling? Let's make a bet folks!" The worst part is I know that I am not right. It would be different if I was swimming in a sea of blissful ignorance, but I am not. I can tell you it is very frustrating.

My point is not to make you feel sorry for me, because God only knows that is the LAST thing I want. My point is to increase understanding, and just because someone doesn't have something visibly wrong with them doesn't mean that they don't have something that YOU CAN'T SEE!

This is a hard lesson learned by me. Sometimes you do have to walk a mile in someone else's shoes. Unfortunately, I have been given the shoes to wear on a permanent basis.