I went to the neurologist right. He is concerned. I can see it in his face, and it it genuine. I cannot walk without holding on to someone or something. I feel like someone out of one of those dumb ass Zombie movies (Sorry Marina), and he checks me for balance and every time he does one of his tests I lean to the right. He catches me twice at least, then he finally just give up. I am once again reduced to tears, I love my new job, my co-workers are awesome, and my family situation has never been better. My sister and I have mended fences, and without her I would have not gotten to appointments or have kept my sanity.
So, they see that I have been treated for depression in the past. I have made no secret of that, nor have I tried to keep it from them. I have taken a list of medications with me where ever I have gone. They keep going back to this psychiatry thing. Well, I finally broke down and made an appointment to see a psychiatrist. He cannot see me until April 24th. I so want him to say, "She is fine, and y'all need to get on the ball and find out what the fuck is wrong with her." I am not depressed, because I have nothing to be depressed about. My daughter will be home in a month. He college is closer than she is living now. I am back in school, and I am making straight A's. I am living in a beautiful home in a beautiful neighborhood, growing our own food, and FINALLY, anyone that knows me knows that being close to family is very important to me, and I finally have that. I do know that I NEED to go back to work. No work for Geri equals no money for Geri which is no bueno.
So, they need to quit blaming everything on my Psyche and finding out what the real problem is. Yes, I do become emotional when they mention that, because I think they are not seeing what is right in front of their faces. Thank goodness this last doctor bothered to listen to me and ordered more definitive tests. I also listened to him and made my appointment with the head shrinker. Quid pro quo Clarice...quid pro quo...
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I don't find it funny, Geri. I find it eerily similar to what happened to a friend of mine...she too had neurological
ReplyDeletehappenings, that the doctors all tried to put off as "depression." Here is a post I wrote about her, and the whole sad affair. If only they had properly diagnosed her in the beginning, it might have been different. It might have been the same outcome, but she would not have gone through nearly a year of trying to convince people she was depressed because she was sick, not the other way around. I sincerely hope you get answers...
http://judyscornerstore.blogspot.com/2008/01/boxer-for-kelly-jcarolek.html